"Mark my words," the
Democratic vice presidential nominee warned at the second of his two
Seattle fundraisers Sunday. "It will not be six months before the
world tests Barack Obama like they did John Kennedy. The world is
looking. We’re about to elect a brilliant 47-year-old senator president
of the United States of America. Remember I said it standing here if you
don’t remember anything else I said. Watch, we’re gonna have an
international crisis, a generated crisis, to test the mettle of this
guy."

"I can give you at least four
or five scenarios from where it might originate," Biden said to
Emerald City supporters, mentioning the Middle East and Russia as
possibilities. "And he’s gonna need help. And the kind of help he’s
gonna need is, he’s gonna need you – not financially to help him – we’re
gonna need you to use your influence, your influence within the
community, to stand with him. Because it’s not gonna be apparent
initially, it’s not gonna be apparent that we’re right."

A CNN iReport poster
reported this morning that Steve Jobs had been rushed to the ER
after a severe heart attack. Fortunately, it appears the story was
false. We contacted an Apple spokeswoman, who categorically denies
this.

A weirdo tried to find a hot
time at an Upper East Side firehouse Sunday by tiptoeing into the
building, waking up a groggy battalion chief – and demanding gay
sex, according to court records.

"Don’t worry, I’m not
going to hurt you," suspect Eric Farr, 33, allegedly told the
firefighter. "I’m just going to f- – - you. I’m so
horny!"

While cooling his heels in
the clink, Farr allegedly took the opportunity to strike up a
conversation with fellow accused criminal, Javier Alderete, 28, of
Queens, who was in for a DUI rap.

One thing led to another,
the stars aligned, and Farr performed a sex act on Alderete in the
cell, according to the criminal complaint.

They broke it up only when
an officer arrived, the complaint said.